7 Ways to Compromise With Your Significant Other During a Design + Build Project
When you have 101 decisions to make during a new home or renovation project, you're bound to have a few arguments with your partner / spouse. Okay, okay, A LOT.
In a 2013 Houzz survey, 12% of couples admitted they considered separation or divorce during their home project (we can only imagine what those numbers are now). But don’t just take a survey’s word for it, I’ve also seen it first hand destroy couples marriages.
Whether it’s minor and lasts less than a day or it’s a full-blown, can’t-talk-to-each-other-for-days kind of argument, disagreement, or dispute, sometimes just having a plan in place is all you need to start you off on the right foot.
Here are some ways that my clients, including my husband and I, have simplified discussions during a home project and avoided most arguments.
1. VITO POWER.
Instead of arguing over each others best choices and getting nowhere, eliminate them all together. Figure out what you both like and vito until you get there. Don't give yourself a limit to the number of vitos. Trust me - you'll get there on your own.
2. GET IT IN WRITING.
Don't just discuss - write it down, print out those pictures, and keep them in a safe place. Don't let what was decided on be forgotten about or twisted. You don't want a "were we having the same conversation?!" conversation.
3. ROOM X ROOM + 20/80 RULE.
Divide up the rooms and conquer. ex. I get the kitchen, he gets the garage. Then, give each other the freedom to make decisions and then come together to finalize. #gamechanger
4. PICK YOUR BATTLES.
There will be a lot of decisions to make. Are you sure this is that important to you? Is it really worth it?
5. GET CRYSTAL CLEAR
It could also be as simple as a misunderstanding. But don’t assume or tell your spouse they don’t get it. That’ll easily make things worse. Instead get pictures to explain what you were thinking. Maybe it’s exactly what they were thinking but it wasn’t explained clearly enough for them to visualize.
6. COMPROMISE
He wants a bathroom niche and you don’t. You want black gutters on the barn and he wants galvalume. Compromise. I’ll give you the niche if you give me the black gutters? Deal. #truestory
7. REVISIT YOUR BUDGET.
Lastly, your budget does not lie. Tally up what you've spent and what you have left. What you have left may be the determining factor. But money can be a touchy subject, don't forget to be sympathetic to each other.
If all else fails, sometimes all you need is a break. Give yourself a break and come back to it later. Who knows, maybe a solution will come to you when you give it (and yourself) time to breathe.
Here’s to an enjoyable home project,
Chelsey
